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It is well known that the first two years of marriage give a reliable
indication of its success. This period is one of transition and growth, any
instance of transition or growth can be difficult. It's change, and people don't
always react very well to change. The larger the change the more effort needed
to adjust. Marriage is all about adjustments. Remember the first few weeks in a new school or job? Even couples who have spent a period of time living together experience a type of transition.
The growth experienced in a marriage during the first two (2) years contributes to feelings of; an abatement of love, a decline in overt affection, a growing conviction that one's spouse is unresponsive, and an increase in ambivalence—distinguishes couples headed for divorce from those who establish a stable marital bond."
Research has found significant differences between the happily married and unhappily married couples were apparent within months after their
nuptials.
Couples who divorced within the first two years showed signs of disillusionment and were negative toward one another in the first two months of their marriage. It is a sign of trouble if a newlywed couple starts to have disillusionment within the first year. The couples who are still happily married were able to maintain positive feelings about their spouse and the marriage in the first two years.
Many people suffer depression following their wedding which is not unusual.
The depression they experience is similar to post-holiday depression. Once the stress of the wedding and its planning are gone, many will experience a sense of loss, for some this is felt as depression, for others as relief. But it should not be ignored!
Being aware that post nupitial blues can arise may help in avoiding them, or at the very lest getting past them. Your energies now need to flow into setting the marital stage for the rest of your lives together. Make keeping your romance alive a top priority, do not take it for granted!
Other priorities a couple needs to face the first year include:
- understanding differences including spirituality
- how will finances be handled
- handling tasks and chores
- the importance of leisure time
- amount of time for intimacy
- relationship with in-laws and friends,
- learning conflict resolution
- expectations as an individual and as a couple
Some of the warning signs:
- loss of interest
- self-centeredness
- sexual problems
- frequent or regular arguments
- lack of respect
- too little time for intimacy
- over spending
- too much dependence on parents
- drug abuse
- emotional or physical abuse
- unrealistic expectations
Although the first couple of years can be very difficult, many years
later they will be remembered as wonderful. With so much to learn about each
other and so much to express to one another, the first years can be a time of
great intimacy and discovery.
The newlywed stage is where you build the foundation and set the stage
your marriage. So build well, enjoy and romance one another! Get ready for
a life-long meaningful marriage!
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